Playing in the garden soothes my soul as I connect with the rhythm of the seasons. However, a little known fact is that years ago, my kids nicknamed me “Mrs. McGregor” when I would chase off a rabbit or a groundhog from the garden. Are you noticing a contradiction from one who prides herself in coexisting with nature? Someone who strives to honor the connectedness of all things? This summer, bunnies taught me a lesson.
Through the years, I’ve learned that rabbits are fond of rainbow swiss chard, which happens to be my favorite. A few years ago, I purchased a set of plastic connecting pipes to create a makeshift greenhouse. It included a mesh covering I placed over a raised bed. Last year it worked like a charm, and we enjoyed an abundance of fresh swiss chard and greens. This year I went out to harvest and discovered a rabbit had found a way into the tent and topped off nearly all the swiss chard.
I immediately felt miffed and thought about building a bigger wall to keep “them” out. Emotion and resistance were present. I moved aside to harvest spinach, and there, in the protection of the covered raised bed, were my teachers. I immediately softened at the discovery of a beautiful litter of baby bunnies huddled together under a blanket of soft fur. Their eyes were not yet open to the world.
The very thing that I worked hard to prevent was right there in the middle of my raised bed, protected by the contraption I purchased to keep them out. The noticeable softening in my mindset and muscular tension created an opening for me to see my blind spot. We all have them as humans. In that moment, I surrendered the raised bed and even welcomed this new life to my garden. I sat with the wonder of a child as I savored the irony and sweetness. I recognized that I have plenty to share, and a farmer’s market or grocery store in a pinch. I expanded my world view to see the connectedness of all things, rabbits in my garden included.
Resistance and tension give us clues about who our best teachers are—possibly disguised as rabbits, toddlers, teenagers, spouses, coworkers, or someone who disagrees with you on politics. They are the rough gems that feel abrasive, but help us discover our blind spots. Sometimes tension builds gradually over time, and we don’t notice how altered we have become. Through the years, I evolved into a less violent version of a villain from a children’s book. Luckily, I am redeemable, as I believe we all are. Sometimes rabbits are simply rabbits, doing what rabbits do, and the gardener is the one who has something to learn.
With humans, I know that this can get a bit more complicated. The toddler and teenager’s job is to resist and define their sense of self. Youth raising their voices may be imperfect with their message delivery, but they may have a point worth hearing. In an election year, there are algorithms and powers at work, evoking strong emotions to divide us. I love the story of the Buddha inviting his nemesis to tea. My heroes are ones who bring loving compassion to the hard struggles and work of life. They can sit with “the other,” but with a softer, more inclusive view, seeing them as one of God’s children. Martin Luther King, Jr. changed hearts and minds with loving kindness and the persistence of nonviolent efforts.
How we respond with presence, rather than reacting can make all the difference in the world. Where do we get louder or double our efforts to keep out the very thing that might help us soften? Awareness creates the pause to recognize and allow our thoughts and feelings. Getting quieter, as opposed to louder, serves us well in a world that can be noisy. Maybe we don’t need more noise, contraptions, divisions, or walls. Perhaps we need to quiet, pause, and soften. There is likely beauty in the life of the very thing that we resist.
I can tell you that visiting the baby bunnies each day with the wonder of a child was an extraordinary gift to me in this collective pause. I learned more about these beautiful creatures by being present with them. I still feel a kinship with them even after they left my raised bed. Looking with fresh eyes can help us recognize old patterns and make us better, more compassionate versions of ourselves.
Could we invite someone with differing views for tea and see the tenderness in them? It requires discernment to decide how and when we might engage, but there is value in the idea of moving in that direction. We each have individual gifts we could employ to create a better, kinder world. This common ground can be a beginning, allowing us to build trust in one another’s intentions. Limiting the noise of 24-hour ratings based news and social media may help.
Moving from seeing “us vs. them” to a more inclusive “we” has many benefits. Studies have shown that people who use “I” and “mine” more in language have increased stress-related health issues, including heart problems. The “we” mindset leads to happier, healthier people feeling connected to one another. The “we” mindset likely leads to well being and resilience in our children. As social beings, it makes sense that this would be so.
I remember reading Chimpanzee Politics by Frans De Waal from my husband’s bookshelf. When a new chimpanzee member or “other” approaches a troop, there is mayhem. Chimp power struggles also elevate stress. Extra grooming ensues to calm anxiety and mend relationships, as the group finds clarity, equilibrium, and the harmonious “we” again. During an election year, I think it’s safe to say that these dynamics occur with humans. We know stress affects the body and mind, the two intertwined and inseparable.
Attention and awareness is the key. When we feel the tightening of our jaw, chest, or stomach, or a change in our breath, we can recognize it in our bodies. We can notice thoughts and emotions that accompany our resistance and allow them to be, with kindness to self. Getting curious to investigate our thoughts, feelings, and habits gives us the option to let go of tension and open to something new. Maybe the “us vs. them” could soften into an inclusive “we.” If we can practice mindfulness and build this muscle, we have a shot at creating the change we wish to see in the world. We could be happier, healthier humans, better parents, and community members. I’m rooting for us. There are good things to speak up about and stand for, but holding on to each other in the process feels vital.
There is much grace extended here from the one formerly known as “Mrs. McGregor.” I also have a less than perfect record of calmness when advocating for the vulnerable in our society. Speaking up feels right, but “the how” for me is a work in progress. Intentions are good, love is there, but resistance enters in direct relationship to my compassionate presence and listening skills. I am human, with my blind spots. But the good news is that I practice and I’m on the lookout for the gems that are my teachers. I hope my lesson from the garden serves you in some way. We are all on this extraordinary adventure called life with a shared planet, rabbits included.
Mindful Play in Motion, LLC 